For mums

I'm just wondering why there aren't more groups out their for new mums who just want to have a good bitch!
Becoming a mum is utterly terrifying, for a billion different reasons. Even those who think they're ready for it are NOT READY! No one is. How could you be? Ok, you might be financially stable and have a plan re. childcare and schedules, etc, but you can't possibly be ready until, well, never! There is no ready. It's do or do not. Either you get right or you get it wrong, or you get it somewhere in between. Life just happens, whether you are ready for what's happening or not. It doesn't slow down or stop or pause to let you catch your breath or adjust to the new situation. One minute you're you, then you're you with a teeny passenger, then you're a mum. You're not, then you are. There is no 'ready'.

Thing is, everyone is SOOOOOO supportive. I mean on the whole anyway. There are so many 'we're here to support you' groups. All anyone tells you 'It'll all be fine. Don't worry about it. Everything will be ok', and mostly that's true. Everything will, one way or another, work itself out. No hurdle will last forever. whether you just it or fall down, things will keep moving in one dirrection or another towards the next hurdle.

But what about in the meantime?
Yes, my daughter is happy and healthy and fed and growing and it's wonderful. Yes, I am incredibly grateful. I know how lucky we are.

That doesn't mean it's not hard sometimes!

Right now, this second, she's sleeping soundly and I have a lovely hot cup of tea and a piece of delicious crumbly shortbread. Right now is lovely.

However, about 3.5 minutes ago I was about ready to jump out of a window. Ok, that might be slightly hyperbolic verging on the completely over-dramatic ('hello' *waves and smiles*), but when the baby starts crying real, proper (loud!) tears because she's tired, but she won't go to sleep, you know, because she's tired, and thanks to evolution every fibre of your being is screaming at you to make it better, but you don't have a magic button that sends her to sleep, so you're cradling her whilst singing '4 green bottles', having starting at 100 of the bloody things, and she's struggling and sobbing and arching her back, all while the puppy whines and cries because you left the room (because who doesn't buy a puppy when the baby is only 6 months old?), and you lose count of which bloody bottle you're on, and THEN, right at the moment when she's thinking about giving in, you stub your toe on the cot and it jerks her awake, and now she's screaming worse than ever and your toe hurts and your heart hurts and you just want to run as far and as fast as your legs will carry you... that's when it can all get a bit... overwhelming.

*Breath*

Yes, most likely everything will be ok, but sometimes that's not what you need to hear. Sometimes what you really need is for someone to say 'Yeah, you're right. That does sound shit. Would you like a chocolate biscuit?'

So, in conclusion *genuinely sat down to talk about a new TV series I've gotten into, and here I am composing the concluding statement to yet another 'mum rant'*, while everything WILL BE FINE, and it absolutely will be, I fully support every mum out there in having as many bitching sessions as possible, preferably with a ready supply of chocolate bickies.

Shout. Rant. Rave. Throw things if you need to. Get it all OUT.
Then return home to your wonderful little bundle (who, lets face it, is sometimes a bit of a shit) and know that you are doing a good job, because you obviously care enough to get worked up in the first place.



For now, I am going to drink my (now fairly tepid) tea, scoff yet another chocolate-covered-rice bar thingy (Something had to give. it was either the biscuits or the chocolate coating), and try to relax, because I can pretty much guarantee that this current stillness is probably just the eye of the storm.

xx